Well, 2007 is over and a new year is upon us to learn and grow from. As I mentioned in the previous post (Saying Goodbye to 2007 – Part 1) I wanted to talk about news worthy happenings and myself, but I decided to separate the two. It took me sometime before I started typing this post. I have quite a bit to say, but I will attempt to not bore you with too many details.
Some good things happened for me this year. We bought our first home…
…that was a big moment for us. We had some other exciting moments, but I was just asked to keep those private. But things were good :o)
I look back at the year and wonder what was it that defined my year…hmm??? I guess I can sum it up in this statement. I was asked a question recently about my biggest achievement. I pondered and answered “growing up”. OK stop laughing! I know it sounds strange, but hear me out. Growing older in body doesn’t mean you grow in mind and spirit. 2007 had accelerated that process for me. Yes, for some it may have been easy, but not here.
I found that people even when they love you or they may be for you, still have their own agendas…even me. I don’t believe anyone is exempt. Most of my life was spent trying to fill all those agendas and meeting needs of others around me. Many people have said to me in times, past “you can’t be all things to all people”, but who was listening to wisdom…not I. After the years begin to pile up so did the unrest. I have also found that once you present a pattern…once broken…all things begin to crumble. I’ve notice that as much as people don’t want to hold on to the past…they do. It seems to present a comfortable level in their lives. They can always count on this or that even if it is negative. So when that pattern is interrupted, so are relationships. That has been my hardest lesson this past year. I’ve lost a lot….but gained “me” back.
A few posts ago I mentioned that many people from my past have been popping up and I wanted to know what the deal was. Well, I begin to reflect on those past areas in my life and it reminded me of things left behind in my life. In the attempts to be everything for everyone, I left a lot of me behind. I created my blog header not just to see myself (though I don’t mind that at all) but to remember the stages of my life that made me up til now. I am who I am…no more, no less…good and bad. That growth process has broken many patterns in 2007.
The past was a double edge sword for me this year. Old friends reentered my life, but also past wrongs came to hurt current relationships as well…only time will tell of true damage or possibility of repair.
I don’t know fully what 2008 holds for me. There are some exciting things in the works as I type, so when they fall into place I will share them with you. But for now…I love being me…Darren Wayne Carter.
2007 was also a year of mortality. I love my birthdays and getting older year after year. With that also comes the people around me getting older and older. A good friend of mine lost her mother in 2007. I hurt for the loss and her, but I can’t imagine what she feels. That mad me look at somethings differently.
One of the images of my dad, I can never forget, was when I was child and had to be taken to the hospital with phenomena. I vividly remember him carrying me in a blanket at a fast trot to find someone to help me. That always reminded me of the strength and the feeling of being safe and taken care of. Mom the same way…energy for days to do what need to be done in and out of the home. Now as I have gotten older so have they. The invincibility isn’t there anymore. Over time age has caught up and I find myself helping and checking in on them as they did for me and my sister. Weird transition.
Along with those changes, I got a chance to meet a host of interesting people this year. As a outside salesman, I get a wonderful opportunity to meet and greet folks from all walks of life. If you know me, you know I love to talk and that has given me many new friends this year. Hopefully lasting relationships.
So how far down does the rabbit hole go in 2007? We have less then 365 days to find out.