Since my initial diagnosis with ADHD things have been very different. This past month has been a difficult one for me, even with the great strides recently. I made a video update on my treatment and I will have it posted soon. It will explain the obstacles I hit the last few weeks.
Back on topic.
I’ve mentioned on more than one occasion how the medication I take is clearing my mind of all the clutter up there. For sometime my heart was *and still is* heavy with finally knowing what damage was done, due to my inability to focus. I would tell those close to me, “I can’t say I’m sorry enough.” But there was one person I hadn’t talked to yet…my daughter.
Recently, I had the chance to do so.
I fussed at her many times for not doing chores or something she was responsible to take care of. I would always end it by saying, “I don’t want you to end up like me.” “Trust me it would be more trouble than it’s worth.” I knew what life was like when you don’t do what was told or take care of your responsibilities. I didn’t want her to be tagged “lazy” or any of the negative terms I had heard most of my life. What I didn’t realize was she was doing what I would have done…take the attitude of “how can you tell me to do something that you don’t do?” My room was cluttered so why couldn’t her’s be? I thought that if I pushed her, she would see I’m just trying to save her the hassle she sees between me and others in our lives…especially in our home. But for a long period I just pushed her away.
I was actually nervous when we talked. A grown man, talking to his teenage daughter and nervous. I had to chuckle about that myself. I just told her I was sorry for all the fussing and pushing. The main request was that I hope she sees my efforts now to be a better person and remember and follow the now instead of my examples of the past.
As she was finishing her Frosted Flakes, she nodded her head in acceptance and said “OK.”
little girl young lady…and there is no one like her and I love her for life!